Quotes

Sometimes, when watching a show or movie, I will find a scene or line to be particularly enjoyable. And other times, I will see or hear something memorable and want to write it down for future reference. Here's a collection of such quotes, in ascending order by date of entry.


From Star Trek: First Contact

[we see Worf commanding the Defiant and the Klingon theme begins]
Worf: Report!
Ben Wyatt: Main power's offline, we've lost shields, our weapons are gone.
Worf: Perhaps today IS a good day to die! Prepare for RAMMING SPEED!
Ben Wyatt: Sir, there's another starship coming in! It's the Enterprise!


From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Ragetti: You!
Pintel: You're supposed to be dead.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Am I not? ... Palulay ... palu-li-la-la-lu-lu. Par-li-ni, par-snip, par-sley, par - partner, partner?
Ragetti: Parley?
Jack: That's the one, parley! Parley!
Pintel: Parley? Damn to the depths whatever muttonhead thought of parley!
Jack: That would be the French.


From Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Khan: I've done far worse than kill you ... I've hurt you. And I wish to go on ... hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me ... as you left her. Marooned for all eternity, in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive, buried alive ...
Kirk: KHAN! KHAN!


From Star Trek: The Next Generation

Worf: Captain, they are now locking LASERS on us!
Riker: Lasers?
Worf: Yes sir.
Picard: Lasers cannot even penetrate our navigation shields, don't they know that?
Riker: Regulations ... do call for yellow alert.
Picard: Mmm. Very old regulation. Well, make it so, Number One. And, reduce speed. Drop main shields as well.
Riker: May I ask why, sir?
Picard: In case we decide to surrender to them, Number One.


From The Bourne Ultimatum

Vosen: Noah Vosen.
Bourne: This is Jason Bourne.
Vosen: I was wondering when you were going to make this call. How did you get this number?
Bourne: You didn't actually think I was coming to Tudor City, did you?
Vosen: No, I guess not, but if it's me you want to talk to, perhaps we could arrange a meet.
Bourne: Where are you now?
Vosen: I'm sitting in my office.
Bourne: I doubt that.
Vosen: And why would you doubt that?
Bourne: If you were in your office right now, we'd be having this conversation face to face.


From Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

General Kenobi: Hello there.
General Grievous: General Kenobi ... you are a bold one. [To droids] Kill him. [Kenobi defeats droids] Back away. I will deal with this Jedi slime myself.
Kenobi: Your move.
Grievous: You fool. I've been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku. Attack, Kenobi.


From Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation

Jeremy Renner: Benji, the plane.
Benji: Yes, the package is on the plane, we get it!
[Tom Cruise runs on-screen and we hear the familiar Mission Impossible theme]
Tom Cruise: Can you open the door?


From The Dark Knight Rises

Bane: [Bane voice] Or perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a man, before throwing him out of a plane.
CIA Agent: At least you can talk. Who are you?
Bane: It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan. No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.
CIA Agent: If I pull that off, will you die?
Bane: It will be extremely painful ...
CIA Agent: You're a big guy!
Bane: ... for you.


From Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Sisko: At 0800 hours, station time, the Romulan Empire formally declared war against the Dominion. They've already struck fifteen bases along the Cardassian border. So, this is a huge victory for the good guys! This may even be the turning point of the entire war. There is even a "welcome to the fight" party tonight in the wardroom. So ... I lied. I cheated. I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. But the most damning thing of all, I think I can live with it. And if I had to do it all over again, I would. Garak was right about one thing. A guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of the Alpha Quadrant. So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it. Computer ... erase that entire personal log.


From Star Trek: The Next Generation

Picard: If the cause is just and honorable, they are prepared to give their lives. Are you prepared to die today, Tomalak?
Tomalak: I expected more from you than an idle threat, Picard.
Picard: Then you shall have it. Mr. Worf.
[Three Klingon ships decloak]
Worf: Klingon warships, armed and ready, sir.
Picard: What shall it be, Tomalak?
Tomalak: You will still not survive our assault.
Picard: You will not survive ours. Shall we die together?
Tomalak: I look forward to our next meeting, Captain.
Worf: Romulan disruptors are powering down, sir.
Picard: Cancel red alert. Mr. Worf, will you extend the appreciation of the Federation and my personal gratitude to the Klingons?
Worf: Aye sir.
Picard: Take us back, Number One.


From Star Trek: The Original Series

Korax: Half the quadrant knows it. That's why they're speaking Klingonese!
Chekov: Mr. Scott!
Scotty: Laddie, don't you think you should rephrase that?
Korax: You're right, I should. I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away as garbage.
[Scotty punches Korax]


From Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Saavik: Sir, may I ask you a question?
Kirk: What's on your mind, Lieutenant?
Saavik: The Kobayashi Maru, sir.
Kirk: Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now?
Saavik: On the test, sir, will you tell me what you did? I would really like to know.
McCoy: Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario.
Saavik: How?
Kirk: I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship.
Saavik: What?
David: He cheated.
Kirk: Changed the conditions of the test. Got a commendation for original thinking. I don't like to lose.
Saavik: Then you never faced that situation, ... faced death.
Kirk: I don't believe in the no-win scenario. ... Kirk to Spock. It's two hours, are you ready?
Spock: Right on schedule, Admiral. Just give us your coordinates and we'll beam you aboard.
Kirk: Alright. ... I don't like to lose.
[Enterprise transporter room]
Saavik: ... damage report? We were immobilized. Captain Spock said it would be two days.
Kirk: Come, come, Lieutenant. You of all people go by the book. Spock! You know Dr. Marcus.
Spock: Why of course.
Carol: Hello Mr. Spock.
McCoy: I'm taking this bunch to sickbay.
Saavik: By the book?
Kirk: By the book! Regulation 46A: "If transmissions are being monitored during battle ...
Saavik: ... no uncoded messages on an open channel." ... You lied.
Spock: I exaggerated.
Kirk: Hours instead of days. Now we have minutes instead of hours.
Spock: They're inoperative below C deck.
Kirk: What is working around here?
Spock: Not much Admiral, we have partial main power.
Kirk: That's it?
Spock: Best we could do in two hours.


From Venom

Venom: Eyes, lungs, pancreas ... so many snacks, so little time.


From The Dark Knight

Grumpy: Three of a kind, let's do this.
Chuckles: That's it? Three guys?
Grumpy: Two guys on the roof. Every guy gets a share, five shares is plenty.
Chuckles: Six shares. Don't forget the guy who planned the job.
Grumpy: He thinks he can sit it out and still take a slice, I know why they call him the Joker.
-------
Happy: So why do they call him the Joker?
Dopey: I heard he wears makeup.
Happy: Makeup?
Dopey: Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.
------
Grumpy: Alright everybody, hands up, heads down! I said hands up, heads down! Let's go, pal, I'm making a withdrawal here! I said hands up!
------
Dopey: Here comes the silent alarm ... and there it goes ... that's funny, it didn't dial out to 911, it was trying to reach a private number.
Happy: Is it a problem?
Dopey: No, I'm done here!
------
Grumpy: Obviously, we don't want you doing anything with your hands other than holding on for dear life.
------
Bank Manager: You have any idea who you're stealing from? You and your friends are dead.
------
Grumpy: Where did you learn to count!?
------
Happy: They wired this thing up with like five thousand volts. What kind of bank does that?
Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker's as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy?
Happy: Boss told me when the guy was done, I should take him out. One less share, right?
Grumpy: Funny, he told me something similar.
Happy: No!
------
Grumpy: That's a lot of money. If this Joker guy was so smart he'd have had us bring a bigger car. ... I'm betting the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we loaded the cash.
Bozo: No, no, no, no ... I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy: Bus driver? What bus driver?
[A bus crashes into the side of the bank]
Bus driver: School's out, time to go. ... That guy's not getting up, is he? ... That's a lot of money. ... What happened to the rest of the guys?
Bank Manager: Think you're smart, huh? The guy that hired youse, they'll just do the same to you. ... Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things ... honor, respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? What do you believe in!?
Bozo: I believe whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you ...
[Bozo reveals himself to be the Joker]
Joker: ... stranger.


Jean-Michel Basquiat: Art is how we decorate space, music is how we decorate time.

(from my high school orchestra director)


Ajeya Joshi: Good things happen when you get in the paint.

[during one of my basketball games in middle school]


From My Cousin Vinny

Vincent Gambini: The DA has got to build a case. Building a case is like building a house. Each piece of evidence is just another building block. He wants to make a brick bunker of a building. He wants to use serious, solid-looking bricks like these, right?
Bill Gambini: Right.
Vinny: Let me show you something. He's going to show you the bricks. He'll show you they got straight sides. He'll show you how they got the right shape. He'll show it to you in a very special way ... so that they appear to have everything a brick should have. But there's one thing he's not going to show you. When you look at the bricks at the right angle, they're as thin as this playing card. His whole case is an illusion, a magic trick. It has to be an illusion, 'cause you're innocent. Nobody - I mean nobody - pulls the wool over the eyes of a Gambini, especially this one. Give me the chance. One chance. Let me question the first witness. If after that point, you don't think that I'm the best man for the job, fire me then and there. I'll leave quietly, no grudges. All I ask is for that one chance. I think you should give it to me.


From Home Alone

Kevin McAllister: Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.


From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Captain Jack Sparrow: Gentlemen, my lady ... you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!


From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Captain Barbossa: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no."


From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Captain Barbossa: Look! The moonlight shows us for what we really are. We are not among the livin', so we cannot die, but neither are we dead. For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starvin' to death and haven't died. I feel nothin'. Not the wind on my face, nor the spray of the sea ... nor the warmth of a woman's flesh. You best start believing in ghost stories, Miss Turner. You're in one!


From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Captain Barbossa: I must admit, Jack, I thought I had you figured, but it turns out you're a hard man to predict.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly ... stupid.


From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Captain Jack Sparrow: Well, I'm actually feeling rather good about this. I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically. I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that. Elizabeth. It would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry. Will. Nice hat. Friends! This is the day that you will always remember as the day that ...


W. Edwards Deming: In God we trust; all others must bring data.


Om Joshi: The attempt on my pegs has left me off-key and out of tune, but I can assure you my tone has never been stronger!

[from a text conversation with an orchestra classmate]


From Psych

Gus: You have never read the Bible, have you, Shawn?
Shawn: Genesis, Exorcist, Leviathan, Deu-the-right-thing.


From Modern Family

Claire: I have been out there, trying to do something good for our community, because let me tell you. Change doesn't just happen. It is forged by empowered women like me and Norma Rae and the lady from The Blind Side. You know what the difference is between me and her? Blind Side's family had her back.
Phil: Okay. Huddle up, everybody. Your mother's right. She's the quarterback of this family, and we need to protect her like Blind Side did.
Luke: She just said the mom was Blind Side.
Phil: Well, she's confused. Blind Side was the Black kid who played tight end.
Alex: Offensive line.
Phil: Sorry, African-American kid.


From Mission: Impossible

Ethan Hunt: Red loight! Green loight!


From Boston Legal

Alan Shore: Did you kill Joe Nolan?! You had access to the wine!


From The Decameron, Day 1, Story 1 (Rebhorn translation)

He was perhaps the worst person who had ever been born.